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1 time i was biking to the thrift store to get my poor feet some poorer soles and i rose from my bicycle and noticed that there was a weevil crawling, skittering across my crotch, to which i exclaimed: "there is a weevil on my penis"

i evicted a bunch of families out of their houses once and they all scattered around like ants before i dropped a dollar general and parking lot over their former homes it felt awesome i made so much money, and they were great ants

I couldn't tell you whether this was a miracle or disastrous for all of humanity but it is funny being here, so.